Friday, December 17, 2010

I have this little blog for lots of reasons. Record, rant, rave, remember. And to be clever like I just was with writing all "r" words that totally worked. Thank you, I'll be here all night.

Tonight, I will rave.

I was flogged in the head with a sickness. Achy muscles, dizzy spells, head aches, tiredness and a throat trying to close up on me. A few days ago, I was woken up by Van at 5am for his self-appointed diaper change ("Mama, peeeeeeeeeee"), and as soon as I sat up, I knew I was screwed.

My husband was a really great help the first day, and then on the second day he sort of wasn't. But I have gotten over it, sort of. On the 3rd day, I knew Ethan was going to be gone because he had an event the next day. And I also knew I wouldn't be able to be a good mother. So I called my mother. She didn't answer, so I called my dad. And he said my mom was planning on coming to help me. She called me later and told me she was getting ready for the day and then she was going to come to my house.

When she came over, she jumped right into caretaker mode. She started some laundry, filled Van's sippy cup and ordered some lunch from a place that makes the most exquisite chips and salsa. Lunch was picked up and everyone was fed. I oddly got full really fast. I think that maybe after being sick and not eating barely anything for a few days, my stomach went back to default mode and was reminded that it isn't supposed to have a ton of food in it like I have been filling it with lately.

My mom then cleaned up and started getting more laundry washed and folded. And then I was told to go to bed. And I happily did. I got a good 2 hours of solid sleep in and woke up feeling much better. When I woke up, all three of my children were awake and taken care of. And the laundry was done.

She then made pancakes for dinner, which Jack said were the best pancakes he has ever had. Of course, she cleaned up dinner and then had me direct her in clean laundry placement in everyone's closets. Her last task was helping me straighten out my Christmas tree, which was incredibly crooked.

She left, giving all of us a hug and kiss and instructions to call her if I didn't feel well the next day.

That my friends, is what a mother does.

Guess what, you are never done being a mom. It isn't like your babies turn 18 and you breath a sigh of relief. You are still their mother. You are still supposed to love, support and serve. A mother's calling is never over.

I have some friends who do not have mother's like mine. After having babies, they don't have any help with their new bundle. They are left to figure things out on their own with a husband who is just as confused and scared. How could a mother abandon her own baby like that?

I don't say all of this so you can hate your own mother for not helping you in a difficult time. I say this so you remember to help your babies when they are adults. Life is hard, mothering is hard. But it doesn't have to be. So please remember when your children are grown that they still need help. And the good kind of help. Dishes, laundry, food, diapering.

The end. Amen.

9 comments:

  1. We have the best mom. I love loving her.

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  2. Could you please tell this to my husband's mother? Each time our daughter has been hospitalized she either a) Does not call or ask or email about her condition; or B) Comes to the hospital, takes one look and says, "Pfft, she looks fine to me," and leaves (did I mention she's a nurse?) She has, in her way, abandoned us multiple times may it be spiritually, emotionally, or physically. I will always fight hard to be her complete opposite. My amazingly wonderful mother is 1000 miles away and that woman is all I get as a replacement?

    I'm sorry you're sick. I am so glad you have an amazing mother. They just make ALL the difference, don't they? Thanks for the reminder. Feel better soon.

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  3. We seriously have the most bitchinest mom. I laaaaaove her.

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  4. Totes.

    Oh my gosh! I just remembered I owe you a check! I will get it to you tomorrow.

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  5. "Guess what, you are never done being a mom. It isn't like your babies turn 18 and you breath a sigh of relief. You are still their mother. You are still supposed to love, support and serve. A mother's calling is never over."
    Completely. I am so blessed with my mom - even though I'm 2000 miles away from her right now (literally - I'm in Hawaii and she's in Canada) she is always there for me to vent to (about my in-laws, about my husband, about anything) and to help me get back into a better headspace.
    I honestly cannot wait to be a mom myself, hoping it will happen very soon.

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  6. I just was layed off from my job - 1 week before Christmas! I'm 38, married with 3 kids and all I wanted was my mom...to lay in bed and her take care of me and soothe me. She doesn't live close enough for me to do that on a whim so I called her & you know what? It did the trick, her words and her voice soothed me. Have a great holiday!

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  7. jealous!! i wish my mom would come over and feed me chips and salsa and do my laundry ... oh wait, she fed me salmon last night and took aidan for a sleepover. moms are the BEST!!

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  8. You are fully aware of what an awesome person my mom is and what a help she is to me. My sister too. Some people are born moms, and they are both that way (me too actually). I have been supremely lucky in my mom and sister. They are right there when I need any help. Crap, even when I want any help. Kudos to awesome mom-types!

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  9. I love this post. You are right, that's what a mom is, what a mom does. We don't all have it for ourselves, but we can be it for our kids. Thanks.

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