Last night, we had a babysitter. And Van had a giant diarrhea diaper. My sweet babysitter changed it and all was fine. Poor girl. But I did give her a $5 diarrhea bonus.
Unfortunantely, I opened the boy's bathroom door and realized immediately that sweet babysitter didn't follow the cardinal diarrhea diaper rule- PUT THE DIAPER IN THE OUTSIDE TRASH CANS. Sweet babysitter put the diaper in the bathroom trash.
I immediately took the trash can downstairs and gave it to shoveling-driveway Ethan to empty into the trash. And then tonight, I realized he threw away the whole trash can on purpose. Since it had the terrible diaper in it, it was now contaminated and must be disposed of. Oh well, trash cans are a few bucks at Big Lots.
Speaking of Big Lots, we are finally buying Christmas gifts for our children. I know, week of Christmas. But whatever. Tomorrow afternoon, I am going to go Christmas shopping. Alone. I can't wait. For the alone part.
Wanna hear a funny story? Last night, my sister Mallory hosted a lovely Christmas Advent party. We were all instructed to bring an appetizer. I never get invited to anything, so I was excited to bring something super delicious and out of the norm.
I went to Harmon's to their olive bar and got a big container and filled it full of all sorts of olives, roasted garlic and roasted red peppers. I then got a baguette and fresh parsley. I also got some Bolthouse Mango Lemonade, but that was for me because I felt like having heartburn.
I got home and got to work on my appetizer. I was going to take the contents of the olive bar container and put all of it into the food processor with the parsley and make a delicious olive tepanade. And then the baguette was to be sliced up, brushed with olive oil, sprinkled with kosher salt and then toasted under the broiler. Well, all of the failed.
I got the baguette crostinis into the oven the just fine, but forgot to take out the unpitted green olives from the olive bar container. So I dump everything into the food processor, push on and the machine is PISSED. It is trying it's darnest to chopped up olive pits and it is moving all around the counter. I turn it off and realize what I had done. Freaking idiot. You can't eat olive pits! Enough of the olive are chopped up and are too small and I can't sort through it and find the pitted olives. I then proceed to lament my stupidity to Ethan and that results in me burning the hell out of the crostinis. So my entire appetizer was a loss. Apparently, I can't make anything anymore.