Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Norco. I am high as a kite on Norco. And it's thanks to last night's festivities.

Wretching pain. Like worse than I have ever felt in childbirth. It was unrelenting. I wriggled in pain, unable to stop moving. Ethan was so bewildered about what he should do. I started crying, but praying my cries wouldn't wake the children. "Who can come be with the kids so I can take you to the hospital?" We couldn't come up with anybody. So Ethan called 911 and they took me instead.

On the ride to the hospital, the pain increased and I cried some more. The paramedic gave me an IV and then something to make me not barf, for the pain was so great that I was sure I would throw up the brownies I had a few hours prior.

Once in the ER, they put me in a private room so other people wouldn't see me shaking and crying. That seems to make people nervous and uncomfortable. Morphine came along and didn't do too much. The doctor poked around my midsection, occasionally making me wince and wimper. A nurse pokes her head in, "Do you want a visitor?" And then there was Mallory. Glorious, beautiful sister Mallory. The sight of her in the doorway brought more tears to my eyes. She swooped in and held my hand tight.

After an ultrasound, it turns out I have a big, fat ovarian cyst. 4 centimeters. It hates me and I hate it. I pray for it's disappearance.

Amid my drugged, drunken stupor, I had one clear, clever thought. Since Mallory came to be with me, she is my "cyst"er. Get it? Sister- cyster. Maybe the drugs make me more clever.

Now I am home, in my bed. And Van just poked his head in and said, "Mama, get dessed!" I must look like such a slob. Two more cysters are coming over to help me with the children today. And Ethan is going to get me a vegetarian sandwich from Kneaders. I might be okay after all.


  1. Haley just told me about all this...eek! I'm so sorry. It reminds me of the night I found out I had kidney stones. Let me know if we can bring over a meal.

  2. You should have called me silly. I am not that far away!

    When I was pregnant with Luke, I had a cyst that was 10 cm big, seriously huge. But it didn't bother me and eventually it shrunk enough that the doc wasn't so worried about it.

    Please bless you have a restful day in bed, so we can go see our dumb movie eventually, and so you aren't in horrific pain anymore and all that.

  3. I feel your pain - literally. Or at least I have felt it. I passed a kidney stone like 3 years ago, and in February, I thought I was passing another. Nope. It was an ovarian cyst. I hope you feel better soon! They are NO fun.

  4. Oh sweetie! Remember my cyst? 13 centimeters by the time they took it and the ovary out. And I was ready to die the pain was so bad. You have my deepest sympathies. The only thing I can tell you is that no pain meds helped me, only the surgery to remove the thing made me feel better (and let me lose 30lbs). Hang in there and if you need anything, let me know. I have been here :)

  5. Oh Whitney, I hope everything goes well with getting it removed and dealing with the pain. I had a friend who went in to get a cyst removed and discovered it was her twin brother, a medical phenom. So... it could be worse? Happy you didn't lose your brownies either. xo

  6. Oh, man. I can empathize. I have PCOS and those suckers are mean little SOBs. I hope you get feeling better.

    My mom and her three other sisters have all head hysterectomies. They call themselves the hyster-sisters. So clever you are.

  7. You poor thing! I'm so sorry. I should have called you yesterday when I thought about you. Hope it goes away really soon. xoxo

  8. Love you and I am glad you are feeling a bit better. Oh and you were so high. Slurred speech and everything, I am glad you remember the "cyst"er thing. I was sure I was going to have to carry that one alone.

  9. Oh, Whitney! I am so sorry! I get those anytime I go off the pill (which is why I have to stay on the pill). They are SO PAINFUL!!!!! I will keep you in my prayers!

    Angee Duvall :)

  10. my goodness whitney! that sounds horrible. i'm glad you're doing better. maybe if the doctor removes the cyst you can put it in a jar next to ethan's kidney stones.