You are all a bunch of jerks for not telling me about maxi dresses. I didn't even know until now that they are the MOST comfortable thing to wear in the summer. I bought a bright blue maxi dress of Zulily a few weeks ago because I wanted something to wear for our family pictures that wasn't the typical jeans/top/cardigan combo. But I worried about wearing a maxi dress because the possibility of looking as big as a whale is a very real danger. Turns out I think I don't look too awkward and this dress is heaven to wear. It's especially nice because I stand on the air vent in my room and the air conditioning blows up my dress and that feels pretty great.
It's a good thing I have a sensor because sometimes I use it. A friend of mine texted me today telling me that her and her family are going to Hawaii for 10 days. My first thought was, "You bitch." But I didn't respond with that. I was much less jealous in my response text. There are other times when I don't use it. Like when I was flying high on morphine during my ovarian cyst adventure and I asked my sister Mallory how often her and her husband have sex.