Above is a picture of motherly desperation. If Jack gets an "excellent" on his behavior report 5 days in a row, he gets the 50 Nerf darts and ammo bag. He has had two excellent reports come home, so I know he can do it. So against all I believe in, I am resorting to old fashioned bribery, bribery with toys. A toy Jack has gazed lovingly at for the last year whenever we end up in the toy section at Target.
Today I called Ethan.
"Hi, when you come home, bring a new vacuum with you. A bagless one."
And he did because my current vacuum I use on a daily basis has died a slow death. Like 10 passes wouldn't pick up a measly Wheat Thin crumb. Today I had had enough. I told Ethan I wanted to get his gun out and shoot it.
The new vacuum and I are going to get along swimmingly. She is sleek and purple and- bagless. After I performed the maiden voyage, the canister was filled with dust, dust and more dust. It was both satisfying and revolting.