Oh me, oh my, I am so done being a single parent. Ethan comes home in the morning and glory hallelujah. Bring on the daddy to listen to Jack's 20 minute long stories about playground drama, answer to Violet's incessant demands and cater to Van's unstable emotions!
All was well until today. Truly, I had this whole single mother thing down. Up early, dressed early, keep to the schedule, stay with the meal plans, calm, cool, efficient. But then here comes Saturday, coming in to mess with my vibe. All of the sudden, Violet's crazy blond hair, snotty nose and poopy bum are insufferable. INSUFFERABLE. I blame her for me going against all I try to enforce and giving my kids Chickfilla for lunch. That isn't how you spell it, huh? Meh, oh well. Here is a tip- never give your kids fast food because then when you do, they think they have won the child lottery. They get excited like it's Christmas morning. They treat the kid meal toy like it's a collector's item.
Finally, I got my wits about me (hahahaha, WHITS!) and was able to wrap my head around the damned laundry so I can be ready to wash sun-soaked, Hawaii laundry. But then Violet awoke from her afternoon slumber and inflicted her bad attitude on me again and I just couldn't imagine the agony of trying to make dinner with her tugging on my pants and yelling, "MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM!" So I folded and ordered take out from Barbacoa. Boom! I am lazy. And can no longer handle my own kids.
Freak, Daddy Darling, come home.