Sunday, January 6, 2013

Life Story Part 6: Vansome


At the suggestion of Courtney, I have been writing my life stories. I actually am almost done and let me tell you, things get pretty vulnerable. And it has been really hard to write the hard stuff. To revisit hasn't been pleasant. But once I got through the tough stuff, I have felt awesome. You should try this life story writing business. It's pretty telling. 

Life Story Part 1 HERE

Life Story Part 2 HERE

Life Story Part 3 HERE

Life Story Part 4 HERE

Life Story Part 5 HERE

Life Story Part 6: Vansome
My pregnancy with Van was my best. I felt great the whole time. My hair was luscious and my skin was smooth and glowing. I truly felt beautiful. At that time in my life, I was the most content I had ever been. We had just moved into a new, cozy townhome right on Route 66 in Rancho Cucamonga. It had new appliances and carpet and it was an empty canvas for decorating.

I found out I was pregnant in September of 2007. I had been wanting to be pregnant and I was so anxious. Once the two pink lines showed up, we called everyone and told them our great news. But then I started to bleed and I miscarried. When I took the pregnancy test a week later and it showed up negative, I was so angry and I threw it into the bathroom sink. My mom never miscarried, why did I? My sadness wasn’t so much about the loss but more about my body failing me. One afternoon, Ethan took me to a hardwood floor wholesaler and he had me pick out new flooring for our kitchen and dining room, in an attempt to lift my spirits. I chose a flooring that showed a lot of different texture and then days later, Jack and I retreated to my sister Megan’s house in Reno for the weekend while Daddy put in my new floors.

One month after my miscarriage, another pregnancy test showed up positive and I was back on the baby train. Once I came out of the first trimester, I felt like a million bucks. In the spring afternoons, Jack and I would take long afternoon naps in our big king-sized bed with the ceiling fan on high speed right above us. After our naps, we would walk next door to the gas station and buy strawberry shortcake ice cream bars. The mechanics at the gas station would always compliment me on my rotund pregnant beauty and give Jack packs of peppermint gum.

During this time, we prepared for Ethan’s very experimental foot surgery. Ethan became increasingly nervous and withdrawn from me and Jack. He would spend hours and hours on the golf course and most nights at the movie theater. Anything to take his mind off a new baby and a foot surgery that he was scared to death of. During this time, to distract myself from the sadness of my disconnected, disappearing husband, I began to cook. I cooked and cooked and cooked. I would go to the grocery nearly everyday and cook throughout the day. I even started a food blog. Food gave me the distraction I needed and I was good at it.

In mid June, I had an induction date scheduled. And as the first baby, the second came easily. Van Ethan. And the name Van merely because we liked it. I still remember him being lifted from my nether regions to my chest and seeing his huge, gaping mouth. He had the biggest baby mouth I had ever seen! Soon, that mouth would show off his handsome collection of dimples and a dashing smile.

His homecoming was as peaceful as I had hoped Jack’s would have been. The spirit that Van brought into our home was one that was calm, celestial and very needed. He slept well, right next to my bed in his blue and white toile bassinet that his brother had slept in. He ate like a champ and made all of us very happy. Adjusting from one to two children wasn’t hard. If anything, I felt like more of a mother. I felt like I was busy and productive. Being a mom to just Jack was fun, but it wasn’t challenging. Being a mother to Jack AND Van was a challenge and I liked it.

1 comment:

  1. I felt like that with the second too. I felt more like a mom, and more challenged. I was just telling my sister this the other day. She is pregnant with her second and she felt a bit bored (bored isn't the right word but you know what I mean) with just one. So I was reassuring her of just this the other day!

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