Near my house, there are lots of cow fields. They stink a lot and there are cows and horses that roam and munch on hay. During this time of year, there are lots of new baby calves. The fields have all these little brown and black little mounds of fur, napping and nursing. It is a sign of spring and the cutest thing. And it melts my cold, dead heart.
A few days ago, for about 5 hours, I was convinced I was pregnant. I was at the gym early in the morning, in my morning gym daze that I get in. As I ran on the treadmill and Kesha serenaded, I starting coming to terms with being pregnant. I picked out my girl name and boy name and I thought about how I would get health insurance. I tried to formulate a plan on how to get a car that would fit all of the children and what kids would share bedrooms. I tried to think of a way to tell Ethan in a few weeks, after I had finished crying my brains out because I am done having kids. And then I came home and a few hours later, let out a big "HOORAY!" while I was in the bathroom. I came out and Ethan, without looking up from his iPad said, "Let me guess, you aren't pregnant? Congrats." Phew.
It's Spring Break and we aren't doing anything fun. Ethan reminded me that Spring Break when he was little meant that he didn't have to go to school and he would just get to play with friends. Okay then, that is easy enough. I can get behind that. So kids, go outside and leave me alone. I am starting to get really sick of modern motherhood is trying to make me feel guilty for not doing crafts, losing ourselves in a book or spending our days having endless fun. Guess what, my kids can play by themselves for the entire day while I do laundry, make dinner, organize my fridge and write some e-mails. They will live.
The other day, I had a good conversation with some friends about by people homeschooling their kids. In all, I don't really care what people want to do with their kids. But when I hear about people wanting to homeschool because they want to "protect them from the evils of this world and bad influence", I get sad. People, let's not underestimate our abilities as parents. Let's take this world and it's Satan ways and face it head on. Let's be a little more faithful and a little more willing to work hard to mold strong individuals. Don't let the bastards get you down.