Tuesday, December 10, 2013


Dear "Modern Family", let's talk about our new found relationship! I can't get enough! Ethan finds me so annoying that all I want to ever do each night is watch more "Modern Family". I can't decide who my favorite is. Manny? Phil? Jay?

Dear Violet, how was that time out today? Pretty crappy? Maybe you shouldn't yell at me in a parking lots full of moms and kids and call me a butt crack. It's tacky, sweetheart. Your mouth is too pretty to say such things.

Dear Insurance Adjuster In Charge of Ethan's Truck, let's get a move on. It isn't hard to declare the car totaled. Just do it and gimme my money.

Dear 2003 Hyundai Elantra aka Little Red, tomorrow I am going to take you to a car wash and get you all spiffed up to congratulate you on reaching 200,000 miles. You are my boo, Little Red. Let's sail to the stars.

Dear Christmas Shopping, I finished you a few weeks ago. When I told my husband that I had finished all the shopping, he told me that he could tell I had a holiday boner over it. He was right.

Dear Jack, you should quit asking me for those one shoes from Target. I know you love them and all, but trust me, there are much better things in store for you. They start with N and end with -ike.

Dear LDS Culture, please quit abusing the word "modest". Modesty encompasses WAY more than how you are dressed. Let's start teaching about modesty in behavior and speech. Fact is, I was dressed plenty modest when I was a teen and I got into loads of moral trouble. Someone start teaching our teenagers, both boys and girls, some more self-respect.

Dear My Little Primary Class At Church, our days together are numbered seeing as I will get a new class at the beginning of the year. This saddens me so deeply. I will be a weepy mess on our last Sunday. The best kept Mormon secret is being a primary teacher. It is THE BEST.

Dear Van, let's start to address the issue of your hoarding problem. You keep EVERY scrap of paper from preschool and I am losing it. While I appreciate your loving heart and your ability to cherish the small stuff, please try and tone it down.


  1. Yeah, kind of sad about that whole Primary teacher moving on thing, too. You've been wonderful for Karlee. She's going to miss you so much! Thanx again for all you've done this year!

  2. Eeeech primary teaching drives me up a wall. I am grateful for people who love it. And I just cleared out one son's stash of every paper from ever. It felt great.